Archive for the ‘living’ Category

My beginning Part 2   Leave a comment

Hello,

Well lets keep on going with the talk about where my journey began. After my dad stopped working on the northern area of the U.S, he decided to start working in San Antonio. My mom had begged him to be closer, so he can teach me how to be a boy. I see that my mom tried to bring him in to make us a family, but my dad was never a family man. I guess that another reason why i am the way I am, I believe in family to the core. Must of my choices have led me to bad decision and good ones because of course, family. My mom has always believed that sometimes you have to do bad or accept bad to have good. It’s not a weird concept nor new, how many of us now days accept our cheating partners or horrible bosses. The thing about it was, that mentality would hunt me till my 30’s. So my dad started to come home more often, every weekend. He would work 50 to 60 hours a weeks, and of course like must Mexicans live with 7 of his friends in a house. They would split the rent seven ways, it makes it cheaper and easier. It allows them to send more money home, or take it back on the weekend. As must boys around the age of ten, my dad started to become my hero. Not because he did right, but because he was a guy that was my dad. He would arrive friday night around 3:00 am, now understand the drive from San Antonio to Mexico is only four hours long.  At the time I was glad that my dad would arrive usually in a very good mood, not noticing why. As I got older I started to ask myself questions and started asking my mom questions too. But being in a culture that is design by egotistical man and believes, I got shut down pretty fast when I would ask questions. My dad would wake Saturday morning, and me being a boy I would run to him. Hugh him and kiss him, and tell him how happy I was to see him. Now to be honest with you and you know the severity of how much this impacted me, I am currently crying due to remembering how i felt.  There not tears of joy or happiness, but of the pain that a man can cause his child and the happiness can be taken away from a child by a culture. He would wake up, and the first words out of his mouth were, ” get me a clamato for my hangover”. I haven’t seen my father for 5 to 10 days, and his first words was to get him a clamato so he could get over his hang over. So me at the age of 10, I would walk 2 miles to get him tomato juice. Even thought he had a car, I would walk 2 miles to the nearest liquor store, which by the way if you did not know. There is two things that are very common in Mexico, catholic churches and liquor stores. I know, I will have to hear it from Mexicans and they will try to portrait our country like some place in heaven. Truth is that is not what it actually is, but which is the way we each see the same place, situation, emotion or experience. What we like to call perspective, that is something that I learned by practicing philosophy. There is many people from my country, who go through more horrible experiences or some that even live the life’s of kings there. But that’s the thing, you can’t change what is. So after going and getting my dad what he needed. We proceeded to head to the grocery store, all of us. one of the few times that we had family time, it was always my mom and dad or my mom and us. He wanted my mom for one thing and one thing only, which is a very common thing in Mexican culture. Women are not seeing eye to eye, like independent individuals that they are. They are seen as property or animals, hispanic women are kept under very strict code. That I will talk about later, today is not the day just yet. But the grocery store was the event of the day, we would go and what seem to me at time a fun day. We would buy groceries, and then my mom would buy us churros, outside Gutierrez ( the grocery store). We lived a very humble life, our house had many cracks and openings. The A/C did not work and the heat would not stay inside the house in the winter. My dad stopped coming as often as he use to, he would come on the weekend for one day every 3 weeks. That made me realize one thing, that he did not cared about me as much as he cared about his self absorb benefit. He wanted life women, alcohol and party. The American dream according to him, and again Mexican men lose sight of why they came here. My mom would keep working and making sure that we had everything that we needed, based on Mexican standards it doesn’t take much to just have what you need. Well thats enough for today, I will see you guys next time and we will talk about my journey to the USA. How that happened and how the path to being me now started.

My Beginning   Leave a comment

Well let’s get something clear before we move forward. I am not born in the US, but I grew up here most of my life. People tend to be bias and make prejudgments based on people’s nationality. That’s why I don’t feel comfortable to say where I am from, Truly I don’t find it relevant to knowledge and life. I grew in a country that I miss, but don’t wish to live there. Is a weird feeling, that only a person that been there can understand. I grew up with both my parents, mostly my mom which she was very hardworking. My dad always had issues with distractions, so when I was a kid he came in and out of my life. I also have a sister a year younger then me, very smart in her own way. I grew up in a town that had less then 100 people, and at the time only had 3 channels on tv. Dust roads and very few people had cars, to american standards ” the colonial times”. My mom was very different compared to moms that I see now days, the mom role has become more of a feminist thing then anything. I know that’s wrong to say, but don’t get me wrong with “feminist” comment ill explained later my stand on that. She will wake up early make us breakfast and lunch for school from scratch. My dad would come to the US to work for long periods of time, and send money back. The thing about the dollar is that is worth more then must currencies in this world. Man like my dad would make the journey to this country to send money back, so we could survive. My dad left us and did not hear from him for about 2 years.

My mom having that drive that we all know her for, decided to take matters into her own hands. She grew up in a family that  believes work is how you survive, and that only the weak and lazy don’t make it. She would make food, drinks and sell fuller ( another version of Avon). Now when selling fuller in such a small town with no cars, well walking was the only way to get around. I believe she walked that town everyday, selling products and offering new products. As we say it ” hustlin”, I hear people say that and I laugh. People say they “hustle” when they have a nice job or get paid a very good wage for almost no work. In my life experience “hustle” has been a word that start from the bottom or literally have no chance at the future but still make it happen. I remember she would do that, while me and my sister would be at school. When she got back she would make what we call “yukis”, is a sweet drink that is frozen in a plastic bag. You would buy it and then rip one tip at the bottom of the bag, and sip on it while walking back home. Selling those for less than a dime a bag, she would make around 10 dollars a week.

She never allowed us to skip a meal, from very young she learn traditional recipes. I was a poor but very happy boy, she cooked all the food from scratch. But not all times where happy times, I remember the many times a father figure or husband was needed. Thats one of the reasons why I am, the way I am. My whole life saw my life through my moms eyes. Growing up with my mom, grandma and aunt I saw how women are kept and taught to follow rules man weren’t. Many times that has been a hinder to survive and also a flaw on my character. I saw a women on my country how they struggle just to survive, because men are in the USA working. I believe only 1 out of 15 husbands actually send money back to their families. Once the man would make it over here, they fall under the temptation and also the great things about america. Like fast food, alcohol and also women, you see in my country sex is very private. Here in the USA I have enjoyed that liberalism of sex, and it has actually help me grow to be a better me. But for people that had not grown up in this country is a disabler, like my dad.

 

Posted August 27, 2016 by Mightymouse in life, living, mighty mouse, modern living, Uncategorized

Hello world!   Leave a comment

Well this is my first blog. I have never had one before, but I find the need to share life experiences and also many situations I find interesting. I hope to have input from many peoples point of view. One thing I love about this country is its freedom of speech and also the way we can communicate. Constructive criticism is a great tool to grow not just as a person but also as a individual in this society. I have grown quite a bit since my humble beginnings, but we can talk about that some other time. Right, now the first thing I want to talk about is life. What is life? …… do we really find the meaning of life in the existence we have here on earth?. In the little time I have been here I have realized that many people see having things as life. I have experience what it is having that mentality, and the psychological effects of it. there is nothing wrong with stuff, is more of how we view this accomplishments. Everybody likes things, but should not they dictate what life means to us. I have had quite of few jobs to say the least, but in many of them I meet this one person. The person that works two jobs and over time all the time to maintain their life style. The questions is why? At the end of the day we work to succeed but when succeeding becomes the only goal, we lose the taste of life. I have met many individuals that have spent their whole life working and have life pass them by. At the end of your journey, what you have appreciated is the satisfactions you will get out of living. When I was younger and immature, I believed living was about having things. Such things were money, attention and also brand new items. I have spend quite a bit of time apologizing for all the pain and headache I have caused. My family, specially my wife has helped me grow but has also helped me understand what living means. At this time in life a sunset with my wife or good friends means a lot to me. The chance to watch my children grow, smile and learn is the most filling accomplishment in my life. I understand that money still controls this world and I work to make money and to be successful. The main goal of my life has changed, now I live to enjoy a good conversation, or a joke and definitely a good cup of coffee. We should search for what life truly is, never quit on the search of life and living. Till next time guys, Have an amazing day.